s O u L eXcaVaTiOn

be all ears, to my secluded sobs
and console my grounded dignity
not with your pretenses,
but only your gentleness

clear out my ambiguities
profoundly splattering through my veins
and watch me fall deep
into this endless hollows

reach out to me
not your broken promises
should i hold free from your unwilling palms
i’ll be soulless and afflictive
in this coarse armor of vengeance

you may ask me why,
but i also do not know the reason behind
every teardrop that slides down
to every woman’s cheek…
first thought would come in mind
is “she’s brokenhearted”…
this what crosses in my little brain too..
i also wonder why people feel such emotion
maybe He’s just too good and wonderful
for letting us feel this way
when sometimes we ask why we need to!!!
is it really a need?? or is it still a mystery
that an ordinary human being
can never fathom the depth…
where does an atom come from???
why is there life in a single cell???
did you bother to ask???
or you’re just happy you’re here
doing what you can do within your prowess!
were you able to count the number of your hair strands???
were you able to exactly scale your pain???
were you able to endure a gory cut on your palm
using a blunt knife with ample rust on the edge???
were you able to survive the pain???
or were you able to outlive the implication
the rust brings as an infection,
that goes on to your system
making you feel rigid and slowly squeezes
your little heart to a sudden eternal rest…
how cute!!!
just see how “life” does its own way of living
and dying….
very simple indeed.. but we make life so subtle..
should suffering be a hint of great strength
or great power???
would vengeance make you so “SUPERMANly”?
like in typical movies..??
actors shiver in anger, making horrible faces
doing monologues, “I’ll never let you get away with this”..
.. or maybe i’m watching too much movies..
revenge makes you weak..it’s not a pill
that boosts out your emotion for good!..
it only plays along with your blood
and gradually shreds off out to your system.
and before you know it, you made something STUPID!
makes you even more stupid if you realized it in the end
and become remorseful and regretful…
“i shouldn’t have done it”…
what a pick-up line!!!
and you can never pull back the time to correct
your stupidity Stupid!
your life is a clock itself… even if it stops
because it has run out of battery,
or it has been wacked by someone who hated you!
still, it keeps ticking, you just don’t hear it..
because the noise within you
makes you deaf and numb..
what you can hear is other people’s voice
that’s why you keep picking on someone,
noticing their mistakes,
when you should be picking on to yourself!
get a life!

I closed my eyes with conscious mind
Heard my wristwatch ticked next to my ear
Saw figures but they were just silhouettes
Had visions, but they were blurred to me!
My mind lingered and I could not sleep
I’m not insomniac, I knew it for sure…
Came from work with tired body
But my consciousness never let me unconscious!
Stupid? Crazy?
I did not know how to call it..
Not even sure what it was…an omen!??
I had to find a way then to keep myself busy
But I only had one option!
Got my pencil and grabbed a piece of paper on IK’s bed
Dawdled some letters,trying to form some words.
Thinking of what to write was even more difficult.
How unproductive!
Tick! Tack! Tick! Tack!
I heard my wristwatch ticking once more
It was defeaning my ears, accompanied by silence!
This was totally a crap! Duh!
Got nothing more to say!
“Please leave a message after the beep!”
beeeeeepppppppp………..