Category: Reflection


Leave It Behind

Today, I felt like I waited for a raindrop in the drought

It sunk in suddenly I was taken aback

It was abrupt, like magic, I was helpless

At first I thought it was the one I waited for so long

The one which can help me throw away my frustrations

Sad thing was, it only added insult to injury

Hope abandoned me like a homeless child.

And that call was a bad sign

And I knew it was something I didn’t want to hear

But I pressed “Answer” anyway

Then she dropped the bomb slowly

Used non-offensive words, but I knew better.

And then I felt the dementors-like environment

A scene I compared to Harry Potter’s

My happiness instantly faded away, that I felt the need to cry

But I remembered one of the exercises in Paulo Coelho’s The Pilgrimage,

The so-called “Cruelty Exercise”; I needed pain for diversion

I inflicted myself physical pain, tried to divert my thoughts, alas!..I failed!

The inward pain was more tormenting.

My mind was stuck, yet I tried to brainwash myself, ” Move on!”

Then I saw two cars in the middle of the crossroad,

It was an obvious, unwanted collision and it caught my attention.

And Hey! I succeeded! I forgot about it for a while, 

When the feeling came back, it was not as painful as the first blood.

In a quick trance,a realization sunk in,

That while I live, while I still breathe, I have more opportunities to grab.

My problem was no bigger than the others’ out there,

Who may be fighting for their lives.

I punished myself for something unworthy.

In that instant, I moved on! 

 

 

*God was great, nobody got hurt*

 

 

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Please Listen

We had an ordinary love affair
And it all seemed perfect
You were once sweet and gentle
I could not ask for more

We had good moments together
Like we were inseparable
Everything seemed unreal
Everything was so good to be true

Then that day came
The day I feared to happen
You suddenly acted cold and distant
Like we were strangers

Those moments we had shared
Were like dried leaves of Autumn
That slowly withered
As winter approached

I thought ours was forever
But I was all mistaken
You changed more and more
Became somebody that I used to know

What about the dreams we dreamed together?
You said you love me,
You said I was meant for you
Where had I gone wrong?

I never cried
You should be proud of me
I was strong enough
And stood on my ground

I waited for your words
Waited to hear your voice
But who was that?
She seemed so close to you.

I watched from afar
Saw you embraced her so tight
The way you used to embrace me
And made promises

Tell me, please
Where did I go wrong?
I want you back
I want us back

I beg you
Don’t hurt me like this
I still believe
We could make it work out

Don’t crumple my heart
I still hold on to you
Don’t throw my love away
Give us a chance

If I made mistakes
Forgive me so
I know where I stand
If you need space, so be it

Think of it a thousand times
and as time goes by
Always remember
I will wait for you until whenever

Advising someone what to DO is pretty much of a good act- i suppose- providing it’s a good one. You know, the ”why don’t you..if i were you..you must..” stuff and etc.. I feel mature when i give sets of advice. But, (and here’s the but) i am apathetic. Ironic right?

I lack emotions, am insensitive and quiet. Sometimes, you have to tell me what’s going on ‘coz i really don’t care on someone else’s life, unless…

I think this way, if you let me be part of your burden, then i am a part of you,then i have the permission of meddling and i care what you care. Some people want to be left alone rather than be given an advice. And you know what, i’m one of those. And sometimes, the advice i give, is the advice i need for myself!

Something Stupid…

born stupid?? you may ask me why,
but i also do not know the reason behind
every teardrop that slides down
to every woman’s cheek…
first thought would come in mind, “she’s brokenhearted”…
this what crosses my little brain too..
i wonder why people feel such emotion,
maybe He’s just too good and wonderful
for letting us feel this way
when sometimes we ask why we need to!!!
is it really a need?? or is it still a mystery
that an ordinary human being
can never fathom the depth…
where does an atom come from???
why is there life in a single cell???
did you bother to ask???
or you’re just happy you’re here
doing what you can do within your prowess!
were you able to count the number of your hair strands???
were you able to exactly scale your pain???
were you able to endure a gory cut on your palm
using a blunt knife with ample rust on the edge???
were you able to survive the pain???
or were you able to outlive the implication
the rust brings as an infection,
that goes on to your system
making you feel rigid and slowly squeezes
your little heart to a sudden eternal rest…
how cute!!!
just see how “life” does its own way of living
and dying….
very simple indeed.. but we make life so subtle..
should suffering be a hint of great strength
or great power???
would vengeance makes you “SUPERMAN”?
like in typical movies..??
actors shiver in anger, making horrible faces
doing monologues, “I’ll never let you get away with this”..
.. or maybe i’m watching too much movies..
revenge makes you weak..it’s not a pill
that boosts out your emotion for good!..
it only plays along with your blood
and gradually shreds off to your system.
and before you know it, you made something STUPID!
makes you even more stupid if you realize it in the end
and become remorseful and regretful…
“i shouldn’t have done it”…
what a pick-up line!!!
and you can never pull back the time to correct
your stupidity Stupid!
your life is a clock itself… even if it stops
because it has run out of battery,
or it has been wacked by someone who hated you!
still, it keeps ticking, you just don’t hear it..
because the noise within you
makes you deaf and numb..
what you can hear is other people’s voice
that’s why you keep picking on someone,
noticing their mistakes,
when you should be picking on to yourself!
get a life!

BITTERNESS

 

 

the sun still sets

the sun still sets

some things are just hard to achieve.. no matter how you try to exert your effort, it just won’t do any good… some waste! There’s this term “patience” which i define as  being able to endure the cruelties that life may bring… yes!.. you may have that characteristic in you but, it wears off… like some organic plant that rots…

 

 

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